This morning I wake up at a little after 7 am for one of my many early morning bathroom trips. I was feeling a little crampy but didn’t think much of it- around the time when my weeks move to the next I get some slight cramping. I always assumed it was from my uterus stretching, and was always surprised at how prompt it was. [13 weeks today? Time to stretch some more!]

So I wander into the bathroom and do my business, then wipe. Now, I’ve had a miscarriage and several instances of spotting before, so I’m a certified member of The Toilet Paper Inspection Brigade. So I check the paper and see red. Red EVERYWHERE; on the tissue, on my hand, even on the edge of the toilet seat.

Needless to say, I freaked the fuck out.

I woke hubby up and we raced to the ER. [which if you need to go to the ER, 7:30 in the morning on a Saturday is the OPTIMAL time to do so. I was Triaged and in a room in under 5 minutes.] Once there I had an ultrasound done which showed the baby was perfectly fine, lying on it’s back and hiccuping even, which made the tech have to wait to do any diagnostic on it. It was really cute- it’s whole body  would bounce right up off the bottom of the amniotic sac and curl up a bit. The ultrasound tech was really nice too, and let me watch the whole time, and talked to me about things… I love really cool ultrasound techs like that! But anyway, when it was done hiccuping, Dragon Baby then turned itself upside down again. What? It was only right side up to hiccup? This kid might live on it’s stomach after it’s born…

So the scan showed that the bleed was entirely from my cervix, [Which happens in 50% of normal pregnancies, the doctor assured me.] and was external, so not in any way in the uterus or amniotic fluid, which was great news. Now I’m trying to figure out what on earth I did to irritate my cervix because I haven’t been straining, lifting, or having any sex. [Much to my chagrin. Damn you modified bed/pelvic rest! *shakes fist*] But apparently when the cervix bleeds in pregnancy, it tends to bleed a LOT, because of the increased blood flow. Which results in scary amounts of red blood.

The only thing I can think of is that when I sat in my office chair yesterday I got a weird burning pain in my girl parts… I wonder if I was sitting funny and it irritated it…

I guess I’ll never know; but there is nothing like freaking out at 7 am to really wake you up. Seriously. Was not expecting a bloodbath.

Note: The ultrasound tech told me I have an anterior placenta, so I’ll be able to feel the baby sooner and other people will be able to feel it sooner too. So cool! I also got to see the baby’s brain, and the blood flow in the heart, which was cool, but also kind of weird. [Hey kid, I stared into your head. YOUR HEAD.]

The hiccups were so cute though! I can’t stop thinking about how weird it is that this thing is moving around and hiccuping and peeing [yes it can pee now] inside me and I can feel NONE of it.