So first, I had a dream about a boat.

A boat made out of shoes. [they were Converse, I think?]

A boat, made out of shoes, which were in turn made out of tiny crocodiles.

And on this boat I was in a baking competition [think Food Network Challenge kind of a thing] where I had to make a cake out of pieces shaped like Lego bricks. I remember spending a ton of time making a Bundt cake out of Lego shaped cake pieces, picking up a ball of modelling chocolate, thinking “Fuck this”, and just jumping off the ship; at which point I woke up.

Then I fell back asleep after one of my many nightly bathroom trips, and had ANOTHER dream. This time I dreamt my daughter stuck her foot out of my stomach. Like, she was stretching and her foot popped out perfectly shaped around my flesh like my belly was latex and she was doing some kind of interpretive dance number! So of course, logically, I grab this tiny foot [my god, it was so tiny!] and I gently pulled on it, so we could see some of her leg!

My husband looked on, horrified. I thought it was neat, and it didn’t seem to hurt me or the baby. I remember deliberately doing this in the dream to see how much I could reveal of her, and to prove to my husband that it was really happening.

All that really stood out to me from the last dream is that I might have a little obsession with my daughter’s feet. I’ve been thinking about teeny tiny baby feet since I found out I was pregnant, really. I threaten her when she kicks me [and her kicks pack a wallop now!] that when she comes out I’m going to eat her little kicky feet.

So in response, she kicks me more… she is one feisty baby! [Which proves she’s totally our kid! =p]

Also: Yay, we have internet back again! [No thanks to my stupid ISP, which is stupid. Did I mention that they’re stupid?]

When I woke up this morning, I remembered vividly that I had been dreaming that my mom helped me deliver my baby on top of a washing machine in a laundromat that was located in an underground cave made out of brown sugar. It was like a building that was being invaded slowly by brown sugar, but it was cave like and underground. It was hot so bits of the ceiling were melting off and falling on me and they were melty and grainy and really gross.

The laundromat had an IV for whatever reason, and a nurse, so in this dream the nurse put in the IV and I delivered my baby with my mom’s help. Labor and birth was like nothing at all. Like, effortless- not painful, just took a lot of energy. Then they wrapped up my baby and handed it to me [have no idea what the gender was] and then a girl I don’t like that I used to be friends with showed up dressed like a country hooker… I held up my baby, screamed at her that I had a baby and she didn’t, and she ran out in fear. Then I woke up.

It was REALLY weird. So, SO weird…